My HEAL Journey These Days

So I felt like it was time to open up about my HEAL (Healthy Eating & Abundant Living) Journey — my relationship with food and my body. Some of you might assume that since I have written a book on the subject of how to have a healthy relationship with food and your body and led workshops that I have the answers. That’s simply not true.

While I stand 100% behind the message of HEAL: Healthy Eating and Abundant Living (which continues to help thousands of women and girls), the reality is that these days I am struggling. I am not in the same place of freedom I was when I wrote the book. I’m very humbly learning that sometimes on our journeys we take two steps forward and one step back. In my case, I’ve taken a few steps back!

Two years ago I gained a lot of weight after having to go on a certain medication. On top of that I’ve recently found out I have Hypothyroid — a somewhat common condition that among other things can greatly slow your metabolism. In my case, I’m burning 600 calories less a day than I should be. The weight gain then triggered some disordered eating habits that I have dealt with in the past. I was so desperate to lose the weight that I joined Weight Watchers, lost some weight only to gain it back. Been there, done that. I bought a 12 day smoothie fast program for several hundred dollars from the urging of a holistic health coach, which I paid hundred more dollars for. I then threw in the towel, and visited Taco Bell too frequently, and gained more weight. I’ve been defeated, self-loathing and miserable.

These days, I’m working with my counselor and a nutritionist as I seek to return to the place of freedom, health and wholeness I once was. I’m listening to a lot of audio books about breaking free from emotional eating, taking weekly walks and am now trying my best to practice good self and soul care.

I’m praying to God, asking that He won’t waste my tears. I’m praying that my struggles won’t be for nothing and I know God promises they won’t be:

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. – Romans 8:28

If you’ve read HEAL and too are on your HEAL Journey, I encourage you dear sister to stay put. Keep digging deep, continue the fight for freedom. Don’t look to me or any other expert for all the answers because they are all human, sometimes slip and can’t heal your heart. Look to Jesus, the author and perfecter of your faith (Hebrews 12:2).

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. -Galatians 5:1

My daily prayer for my HEAL Journey is this:

Set me free from my prison, that I may praise your name. -Psalm 142:27

I’ve been imprisoned before and set free before and am trusting that as I surrender and submit to God, my heart, my body and my emotions will be healed. This won’t be an easy road (it hasn’t been easy before), but I am ready to fight for freedom.

Where are you on your HEAL Journey? How can I pray for you?

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1 Comment

  • Reply Rachel December 23, 2014 at 4:31 am

    Thank you for this. I actually pulled the book out the other day in my mental considerations of where I should go with my struggles. I tried a nutritionist once at my lowest weight, and that backfired as she counseled me against eating a full serving of almonds – she’d just told me that I had the lowest body fat percentage that she’d seen in a while. Never again is my inclination, but I think that there is a lot of benefit to be found in therapy and discussing issues with a more objective individual.

    After binge eating up to a 100 pound weight gain after a very restrictive relationship with food (and consequent marked weight loss), I’m struggling with establishing patterns that do not involve stress eating and the same tormented Taco Bell runs. (What is it about Taco Bell?!) In a catch-22, I’m in a more personal living situation than ever before, which gives me a panic/fear-of-scrutiny relationship with eating habits. It’s a seemingly goofy, frustrating cycle, to say the least 😛 Things that have helped me are being active in gentle ways that assure me I’m taking care of my body without the temptation of intense, exhausting purging workouts. Yoga (YouTube videos!) has been fantastic. The Eastern religion implications aside, it challenges my body while also allowing for restfulness and gentle muscle usage.

    I hear you. I appreciate your transparency. I’ll be praying for you.

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