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Hi, I'm Allie!
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You don’t need to live the life others expect of you.
We don’t have to live the lives others expect of us. We get to live the extraordinary lives God has chosen for us.
I’ve published and unpublished this post multiple times because it’s a vulnerable one for me. But the title of this post is a thought I haven’t been able to get out of my mind. So let me say it again:
No, you don’t have to live the life others expect of you!
How do we respond when our life doesn’t live up to the expectations of others or ourselves?
We will make our plans, and others will make plans for us, but only God’s plan for our lives will prevail. Our culture has a straightforward idea of how our lives should go. It typically includes getting married, having kids, and having a successful career. Marriage and family are two of the greatest good and perfect gifts from above, but they are not gifts everyone receives. This is not the story God has designed everyone to live.
As a happily married woman, most people think I should have kids by now; I know, or imagine, that friends and strangers have unspoken expectations of my life. But God has written another story for me. One that is different from the story I imagined I would live when I got married, but it’s a beautiful story I wouldn’t rewrite if I could as hard as it is a times. I still grieve the ideal life that wasn’t mine to live, but I know that God doesn’t owe me anything and my life is full of undeserved blessings.
Do you ever feel like you’re not living up to the expectations of others? Do you ever have imaginary thoughts about what you think others might be thinking about you? I get it. My thoughts wander there too often.
But friend, I give you permission to not live the lives others expect of you. You are free to live the story that is only yours to live. Have you heard the phrase, “What others think of you is none of your business?” I think it’s time for us to start telling ourselves this. The reality is most people are too busy wondering what others think of them to think about us. And that is good news!
Don’t feel shame for thinking that your life should look different than it does. It is a miracle to have a heartbeat and no one can live your life but you. You have permission: go and build a life you love. Ask yourself, what do the circumstances of my life make possible?
What does my childlessness make possible? What does my singleness make possible? What does this closed door make possible?
Don’t live the life others expect of you. Embrace the life God has chosen for you and make the best of it.
We don’t have to live the lives others expect of us. We get to live the extraordinary lives God has chosen for us.
I love the message interpretation of Galatians 6:4-5:
Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.
Reflect on who God made you to be. Consider the work He has given you to do. Then welcome it with joy. Be humbly grateful for the life you’ve been entrusted with. Don’t compare yourself to her. Take responsibility for the gift of your life. Live it well, dream big dreams, and make the most of every borrowed breath.
Do you ever feel unworthy because of your past? Have things people done or said left you with wounds and low self-worth? Do you believe that if someone knew the truth about you, they wouldn’t love you? In this powerful conversation, I got to interview Morgan Krueger, author of “Goodbye Hiding, Hello Shame,” and talk […]
Our ideal self is characterized by the unique ideals we hold in high esteem: athleticism, beauty, style, intellectualism, personality, philanthropy. But the danger with having an ideal self is that she robs us of contentment in the present.
