The words we speak hold immense power. They can be used to encourage, edify, uplift or they can tear others down. Proverbs 8:21 says, “The tongue has the power of life and death.” The sights and sounds we choose to take in will leave an imprint on our souls. They will then influence our thoughts and the meditations of our heart and which will determine the words we speak. If we take in the evil and dark things of this world, the words we say will likely be cynical, negative, and destructive to those who hear them.
But if we gaze at the good and the lovely things of life, immerse ourselves in scripture and set our hearts upon our good and loving Creator, the words we speak will be seasoned with grace, drenched in love, and will uplift the people who hear them. Only we can decide what we are going to fill the home of our souls with, the voices we choose to hear, and the sights we will allow our eyes to see, all which will determine the person we will become, and the the words we speak — words that have the power of life and death.
Below I will share seven questions to ask ourselves before we speak, but before I do here are some verses to meditate on:
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. – Ephesians 4:29
A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. -Proverbs 15:21
Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person. – Colossians 4:6
Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body. – Proverbs 16:24
Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin. – Proverbs 13:3
There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
– Proverbs 12:18
7 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Speak:
Is it kind?
Will what I say uplift or discourage others?
Is it timely?
Is this the right time to say this?
I it helpful?
Will what I speak support the person who hears my words?
Is it necessary?
Does this really need to be said?
Is it positive?
Will what I say highlight good and lovely things or will it point out the negative?
Is it reactive?
Will these words be defensive or contentious, and create dissension?
Is it dramatic?
Will what I say and how I say it be delivered with wisdom and gentleness or be reactive?
Before you speak, ask yourself these questions and hold your tongue. A kind and wise woman speaks words of grace, words that point out the goodness of life and people, words that uplift and make others feel important, valued, and heard.
We must decide what kind of girl or woman we want to be, and let that dictate every thought we think and word we speak. Reflect again on the sights and sounds you are allowing your eyes to see and your ears to hear, and consider the people you surround yourself with. This will determine the words you speak — words that will bring life and joy to others, or words that will bring discouragement and shame to those who hear them.
Let’s strive to speak words that bring life and joy and uplift others and focus on the good and lovely things of life. Those who hear your words will notice and want to be around you more. They will want to keep your company. Ultimately, ask yourself: What kind of person do I want to become and how do I want to make others feel?
Let this be our daily prayer:
May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart
be pleasing in your sight,
Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.
Psalm 19:4





